Finding my Zen

Zen6Today I found my Zen.

My search started during dark days when I spent more time crying than smiling. When I was told I wanted too much, my goals were too lofty, my standards too high. I was told I had serious flaws and the general population was far too blind to see the truth. But he knew.

It took years and many, many tries before I finally succeeded in breaking the chain. Zen4But I did break free. I survived. Today I reached the destination I dreamed of all those years ago. And with my joints healing, have the ability to enjoy it without all the horrible pain.

I believe I made it because I never let go of the dream or the belief that what I had seen could be real.

I have always had great faith in the power of creative visualization. Over the years I have seen this power at work first hand.  I experienced it again with the signing of the check to buy my half of this home.

Zen8This tale actually started in 2004 when I first realized that my life had slipped into an abyss of tears and frustration. I was physically ill and emotionally bruised. But I was determined. I pulled on my inner beast and made the commitment to change things. I visualized calm, serenity, peace, security. I could see myself far away from that current life actually having the things I could then only wish for.

Over the years, the journey proved challenging and often fraught with doubt and fear. I made painful mistakes. Slipped back more times than I like to count. But all of those times made me stronger. I discovered so many things about myself. My tenacity is fierce; my determination and resolve, solid; my willingness to wipe away the tears and face the challenges head on, the real key to success.

Zen7In the beginning I tried to visualize where I wanted to be. ‘In a perfect world’ scenarios filled notebooks as I struggled to figure it all out.

It took many, many tries and lots of tough fought lessons. Every time I got knocked down I picked myself up and carried on. I just knew I would not fail if I did not give up.

In February 2016 I found myself at a cross road on my journey to find the ‘perfect pad.’ This time I stopped and made a list of requirements.

The ideal home would be somewhere warm, with at least two bedrooms and two baths, one on each end with the living area in the center. That way I could have a roommate and we’d each have our own personal space.


Another challenge, I need parking for my motorhome, preferably covered so it will beprotected during the months I’ll be in

Alaska at my other home. Security is a must and I want amenities like a swimming pool and hot tub and without an exorbitant HOA, especially one where you don’t own the land. I want to own.

When I finished I wondered if it would ever be possible to find exactly what I wanted and needed. And have it be the same things my purchase partner would want.

I spent two winters and hours of driving around meeting realtors and traipsing through houses on the journey, never giving up on my requirements dream.

Zen5I knew I had arrived when I walked into the house in Superstition Resort.

The gated entrance to the neighborhood and the covered storage designed for a motorhome that flanks one side of the home, took care of two check marks. Entering through the back door my spirits soared. The home is clean, beautiful, obviously well maintained and recently remodeled. Something I’ve done so many times. This time it’s already done. Hearing the sellers say the furniture stays gave me a check mark I hadn’t even realized I had until that moment. Now I wouldn’t have to shop, buy and move in things like dressers, tables, couch, chair and even one and half really nice beds. Amazing.  But what about the rest of my list?

‘Yes, there is a community pool and hot tub right across the street. And the whole package includes membership into an exclusive club with only 54 owners. All of whom own 1/54th of the resort with assets of nearly two million dollars. Owners pay just $1,000 a year for dues and that includes property taxes, garbage, sewer and road maintenance.’ My roommate partner and I can sell or will the property to our heirs.

I moved in yesterday and finished settling in today. At 3:30, with the warmth of the Arizona sun shining down, I climbed on my bicycle and set out to go exploring.Zen1

I can’t stop smiling. I now have a beautiful home that I was able to buy with my spirit sister so I have a wonderful roommate. There are miles of roads that lead to miles and miles of wilderness trails all around to explore.

I have a hot tub and heated swimming pool waiting for me to enjoy. Awesome neighbors who have been warm and welcoming. I feel safe, protected, happy, joyful, thrilled that I made it.

My thoughts did become things. Today I am  living that dream from so long ago filled with calm, serenity, peace, security and all the joys life has to offer.

The biggest lesson for me, don’t ever give up on your dream.

Now it’s time to get going on other dreams I’ve long imagined.


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